OPINION

You Can Learn a lot by Getting Old

Lloyd Omdahl

It’s true. As you experience life, you can accumulate an incredible amount of knowledge. Unfortunately, at a certain age you can’t remember most of it.

While aging is a disadvantage for most people, those with a fighting spirit have had their best years over 70.  Churchill was elected the second time at age 77 so Joe Biden didn’t break new ground.  Dr. Mayo didn’t create a new Mecca in Rochester until age 70.  At 80, George Burns won his first Oscar and at 90 Sarah gave birth to Isaac, proving that you can never be too careful. 

I never buy the extended warranties although they are available for everything nowadays, including ball point pens. Salespersons aren’t even embarrassed when they make the pitch even though it sounds like they’re selling you something in which they have no confidence. Besides, at a certain age lifetime guarantees have no meaning.

At my age, medical costs are atrocious.  At anybody’s age, medical costs are atrocious. (Makes me wonder if Humpty Dumpty had major medical.)

 Medicare would like us to review our bills to see if they are accurate, but the reports come two months after the fact, by which time we can’t remember what happened.  By which time even young people can’t remember what happened.

Our medical care in this country is twice as expensive as every other country. My doctor says that we are twice as happy in America so it comes out even.  The pills may be good but the logic will kill you.

The Bible says that we are appointed once to die.  Once is enough, if you ask me.  

Our volunteer Bible teacher quit in two weeks after trying to teach us memory verses. 

She reassured us that there would never be another flood.  Human beings have no cognitive flexibility. They went right back to boozing. First thing Noah did was plant grapes so he could have wine.  He was depressed when he heard there was another flood 1800 years earlier and it had more animals.  

 Even though I am already living on borrowed time, there are some things I still want to see, for instances, whether or not anyone can get elected to a second term as president at age 81, whether or not the Minnesota Twins will be sent to Rochester next year, or whether or not the earth will melt or just burst into flames, or whether or not humans will become an endangered species.

                Over the hill, over the hill

                It’s over the hill we go

                Our heads are full of action

                But our feet have grown slow

                Over the hill, over the hill

                Zip is gone, we’ve lost our torque

                That is why we’re here

                Eating with spoons instead of forks.

 If you discover you are aging, do not panic or call 911.  If you discover you aren’t aging, panic and call 911.