It’s so hard for me – so I can only fathom how difficult it is for you. I see you because I feel me. This isn’t a riddle. It’s just me acknowledging your autoimmune disease.
As humans – we’re often too foolish to fit into the homo sapien species. They have working brains. Cognition. Emotion. We choose not to use ours in too many cases so we must be a sub-species of homo sapiens.
Who knows? I don’t know who knows but I do know, I care.
Hi. My name is Jodi Rae Ingstad and I’m a Type 1, late in life diagnosed for some unknown reason, insulin-dependent diabetic. If that was all I had to be and know – it would surely be enough. However, I need to wake up and remember to turn the air conditioner off in the bedroom because it will always blow the circuit breaker when I turn my hair blower on. Time to go downstairs to make sure the six week old kittens are alive in the room I keep as my kitten sanctuary. Oops! One missed the litter box. I have to clean that up. I disinfect my hands after a quick tinkle.
I make the coffee for me and my groom. I’ll bet he’s hungry. I feel funny. Good grief! My blood sugar is 321! No wonder I feel lethargic and tingly. I’ll dose myself with insulin before I start the eggs. One of the kittens tipped the water dish over and is screaming. My diabetic meter is still beeping high. I could take the time to stop it but the eggs might burn. I plate my groom’s breakfast but still have to get myself ready for a nineteen hour day.
We have a food truck event and I’m the face that needs to be on even when my sugar is off. It’s a street dance and it will go on until well after my normal bedtime. There will be no time to eat normal, healthy food. I’ll grab whatever I can swallow between customers just to stay alive. Did I give myself my long lasting insulin today? Uff! I need more fast acting insulin fast or I may go into ketoacidosis and end up in ICU (again.) Does anyone notice how confused I am taking orders in this heat?
I don’t have dementia yet but sugar problems sure do exasperate my wonkiness! Whoa! Cramp! I yell for an employee to pass me my magnesium powder stat! Can anyone tell how bad I’m struggling? I won’t let them. Nobody wants to share in too much pain and just like no one wants to hear too much of my joy.
So I’ll go on another night living silently with an autoimmune disease trying to kill me. What it doesn’t realize is – I’m a fighter until the finish. This disease may not know who it’s up against. If you have lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, Chrone’s, psoriasis, multiple sclerosis, IBD, Addison’s disease, Grave’s disease, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, celiac, pernicious anemia or any of the other diseases that tell your own body to attack your own immune system – I see you.
I don’t just see the you standing before me. I see the one fighting while you smile. Fighting while you show up to events. Fighting as you take on the hundreds of little daily things that must be done besides tending to the symptoms of that which you were chosen for. If regular, blessed with health people could spend an hour in our shoes – they’d wish to be barefoot for life.
The world would be a kinder, more understanding place if we could begin every single interaction by stating, “Hi. I’m Jodi Rae Ingstad. Because I got chosen to carry the burden of Type 1 diabetes in this body, I may be forgetful at times when my sugar is high. I may appear overly giddy, almost drunk despite not drinking when my sugar is low. I hurt every, single minute of every day but stopped complaining years ago.
I swallow my pain to make your life in front of me more comfortable. Please see me. I love seeing you. But also take a peek at my disease and see how I’m slaying it. I want to live in the same world as you do – enjoying the same things. I’ll likely pass younger than you if my disease follows its regular process. Let’s make this a memorable one together. Wanna?”
My point to all of this is – gosh we’re a resilient bunch of chosen ones.
Keep healthy. Study natural remedies. Goodness, have I learned so much this past 365 days! And if you’re struggling – dare to declare your autoimmune is not immune to being helped from time to time. I see you. I really do. #NinjaAutoimmuneWarrior
The Blonde on the Prairie is a lover of ND. She is an author and motivational speaker, owner of “Monkey Balls” food truck and Joyologist to the elderly and disabled.
