I was raised by a wonderful set of parents. Leland and Milly Oleson were salt of the earth people. They would help anyone and everyone they could, in whatever way they could. Oh, we didn’t have a lot of money, but we had our own little farm and would raise some chickens or turkeys or a calf or a cow or a few pigs, plus a huge garden, so we always had food to eat.
My folks were fun-loving and they loved each other, so we grew up with lots of laughter and lots of love in our home.
My dad worked for 14 years as a janitor at Devils Lake High School, what we know now as Central Middle School. I always wanted to nominate him for one of the Hall of Fame awards that Devils Lake Public Schools have.
He shared so many great stories with us how he helped first year teachers, sometimes, who were frazzled and unable to maintain control of their classrooms. They would open the door to their classrooms and peek out, spot my dad sweeping the hallway and plead with him to step in for a moment. All he had to do was step into their classroom and lean on his big broom and silently look at the students and one by one they would quiet down and behave. He never said a word. He had “the look!”
The students had great respect for my dad, he helped them with set building when they put on plays and skits at school. Many of them became his summer helpers as they repainted the bathrooms and hallways trying to freshen things up.
My dad’s father was an alcoholic. That affected the way he was raised. It also affected the way dad raised us.
I believe he suffered from some depression and anxiety during his lfetime and I believe a bit of that was passed down to me.
I remember being very awkward and unsure of myself, especially around 7th grade. If I hadn’t found my way to drama and musical theater I would have been really lost, but Evelyn Hopley, my music teacher, saw something in me and gave me a few singing lessons and encouraged me to try out for plays and slowly I found a place where I could express myself and see some success. That led to many years on stage and off at the Fort Totten Little Theater, Pioneer Players and LRSC Robert Fawcett Auditorium.
I never went to a professional counselor, didn’t even know that would have been available in those days. But I did have some wonderful relationships with some of my teachers, like Mr. James Kling who still calls me once in a while just to see how I am and what’s happening in “good old Devils Lake.” We’ve been friends since those awkward years when I was in his English class, long before he became the school’s counselor.
When you have someone who believes in you and is rooting for you to be successful, that goes a long way toward helping you to overcome your own struggles. I had these two and many others who took me under their wings, gave me encouragement and support, including my family members.
When I lived in Minot I remember there were times I could not go shopping, like on a Saturday during Christmas season in one of the bigger stores like, K-Mart. I would have my cart nearly filled with items and there were so many people around me, long lines at check outs and I remember feeling panicky, breathing faster and shallower than normal. I would force myself to go all around the store putting items back on the shelves before I could escape without buying anything. This happened more than once and each time it scared me.
Was I going crazy? What was this panic?
Then, for some reason it happened again and that time the thought occurred to me that they had people who would put items back on the shelves FOR you, if you had to leave. So that time I brought my filled cart to the service desk and caught the attendant’s eye and explained, “I have to leave the store. Could you please find someone to put these items back for me?” She said, “Of course, no problem!”
So I left without forcing myself to do that and I never experienced that panic there again.
Never.
It had power over me as long as I allowed it to.
Once that was gone, the panic never really came back.
I was able to go to concerts – rock and roll concerts used to freak me out! Too many people! Too claustrophobic! I think the first time I really enjoyed a concert like that was when Def Leppard played in Bismarck and I went with a group of friends, who were much younger than I was, and we had a GREAT time! I had a great time! It didn’t freak me out anymore!
That anxiety is still with me to a MUCH lower scale, now. I have things I can do to cope and years of experience, too, that has helped me see that I can cope with just about anything. One of my secrets is wearing a Buddha ball necklace. Inside a tiny metal globe of the world there are lovely chimes and when they ring, I find them calming. I have two of these. The other one is a gold colored heart that has the chimes inside. If I find myself feeling the least bit anxious I just wear one of my calming Buddha necklaces and as they chime for me, I feel much calmer and more at ease.
Thank you for that, although I am not seeking Buddhist faith, I believe there truly is something healing I have found there. It works for me. I appreciate what others believe and hold sacred although we may not share all the same things we believe. I remember attending Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) for several years while in Minot and took away from those meetings many coping mechanism from that good solid organization, as well. Like the concept of “take what you need, and leave the rest.”
That sounds good to me. With May being Mental Health Awareness Month, I felt moved to share some of my own experiences with finding and practicing better mental health and I ask you to “take what you need, and leave the rest,” even from me, too!
Most likely I will broach this subject again and again, because like most of us, I am a work in progress and I ain’t done yet! If you have a brain, you have mental health! Think about it…… I do!
Leave a Reply